What would it take to forgive infidelity? According to my stat counter, many people are searching for the answer and found my harsh stance. Hardly helpful, so I started thinking.What would it take? I think it takes commitment, strength, humility, vulnerability, forgiveness, and selfless love. Lots and lots of all those things, not to mention prayers, support, maturity and hard work. All the opposites of the act of infidelity itself.
My friend Shelby's husband cheated on her and then divorced her. She was willing to forgive and work on their marriage. He was not. She has never said a bad thing about him, ever. She loved him unselfishly. He was too in love with himself to love her. She is so strong and full of courage.
My other friend Leah's husband is an alcoholic, a pathological liar who is verbally abusive, violent without a work ethic or manly pride in supporting their family. He is a waste of skin. Yet there is something in him she loves and so is willing to work at their marriage. She puts them in front of herself. She is strong and loves unselfishly and without reservation or conditions.
I used to think it was strong to sever a relationship with someone who hurt me. Now I know that it is weak and cowardly. Not forgiving is easy. Pride and self have primacy of place and bar the way to forgiveness and truly loving another. I admire my friends for their strength and maturity. I want to learn from their examples and put others ahead of myself. I want to love even when it hurts and it would be easier to give up.
For anyone suffering from infidelity, you have my prayers, support and admiration for seeking a way to forgive.