Thursday, October 22, 2009

Faithless women

Anonymous wrote : Can someone PLEASE talk about women who cheat on men....... As I write this there is a man living in the house God allowed me to purchase for my family...... The agony is unbearable...... Please pray for me that I can endure this cross......

The stereotypes are of the home-wrecking tart and the straying husband, but women cheat, too. Is it more shocking then when a woman is unfaithful? I think so. The woman is the heart of the home, and by extension the family, in most cases. She is the one who creates a comfortable refuge for her loved ones. That is not a stereotype, it is the way we are made.

Unfaithfulness destroys. It is a completely selfish act.

I know one man who went through unbearable agony and suffering when his wife cheated on him. He was willing to forgive her, especially for the sake of their children. He wanted to repair their lives, and their marriage. He went through a tremendous transformation because of it. He now says that he had to go through that; it was God's way of preparing him for something better. He is back in communion with the Church and is much happier now.

Anonymous, I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. I will pray for you. Please try the Divine Mercy chaplet. The closing prayer is so comforting, I hope you find it so. It says,

Eternal God, in Whom mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments, we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy Itself. Amen.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Confession of a bad wife

I am a bad wife. I don't cook or clean my house very often. I don't take care of my husband the way I should, certainly not the way he'd like. I didn't start out that way. When I was a single mom, my house was always clean and neat, I cooked and fed my daughter the way a mother should. I had no one else to rely upon so I did what I needed to do.

Then I got married with dreams of sharing household duties, working side by side with my husband who dreamed of a wife like June Cleaver. Why should I have to do everything when we both are working full time? Gradually resentment, stubbornness, pride, disordered priorities, too little humility and too much love of self led me to where I am now.

But, I want to change my ways. Can I get a hallelujah? I will have to start out slowly because I know if I try to change overnight, that's not going to happen. So here's my plan ( and you'll probably think "duh!"): I'll do what I should before what I want; clean the kitchen, do the dishes before getting on the computer or reading a book. That simple. I'll start to plan meals again. I'll start to live like I did when I had no one else to rely upon. I'll do what I need to do and I won't wait for my husband to jump in and help or feel resentful if he doesn't.

How's this for a huge poke from God? One of the books I purchased at the Graced & Gifted conference is called Graced & Gifted, biblical wisdom for the homemaker's heart. I hadn't realized what it was about when I bought it. I picked it up by mistake thinking it was a different book. I know from Whom the desire to change came and I am thankful.

Please pray that I do my task with love and change my ways.

O Mary, conceived without sin, you were a homemaker. Please bless all the wives and mothers who struggle sometimes to take care of their loved ones.