Friday, October 29, 2010
I don't have all the answers. Not by a long shot. I still find some people hard to love and I struggle. But I am learning. These are a couple of the things I've learned:
1. Different families have different expectations of what is 'normal' or 'expected'. You can't hold people to the same standard as your own family. That's asking for trouble.
When buying our house, we asked my sister and her husband for their opinion, trusting it more than our own and trusting they would tell us what they truly thought. When my daughter and her husband were looking seriously at a house they asked our opinion and his parents opinion. They said nothing, we said lots. I could not stand back and watch them make what in my opinion was a serious mistake. Nor could I understand his parents' silence. Perhaps they couldn't believe my 'meddling'. Different families, different ways.
2. It does absolutely no good to carry grudges and look for the bad. It takes a lot of energy to do both things. It is not being strong to be able to cast people out of your life for petty things, it is weak. Forgiveness takes strength and work. It takes humility since we can't do somethings all on our own. We need to ask for help and grace.
3. The book Crucial Conversations -tools for talking when the stakes are high was an eye-opener for me. It wasn't a fluffy, feel-good book. It had a lot of common sense to it. One of the most interesting pieces was how we fill in details about something we have observed. We stray from facts - the action or statement of someone else - and color in our own details, based on nothing and how that filler we provide gets in the way of our having a conversation with someone else; at the very least it makes that conversation difficult.
4. Take things at face value and assume positive intent. Don't go looking for motive. Don't be suspicious.
5. Accept people as they are - warts and all. If you have a friend who always wants your help but is scarce when you need her or isn't well acquainted with the truth - don't be surprised if she's not around when you need a friend but if she is, bonus! Don't have unrealistic expectations.
Nothing I've learned is particularly creative, original, earth shattering or particularly new. But it was new to me. Now I need to figure out how to help my loved one. If you think of it during your prayers, please pray for my loved one.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee! Mary, look with favor upon us, grant us the graces we most need. Amen.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I lived in the suburbs of that dark city for a long, long while. I moved there bit by bit each time I had an opportunity to forgive and said, 'yeah right'. I didn't know how to forgive and had not the slightest interest in learning how. I'd been forgiven in a beautiful, generous and complete way but I never recognized that's what it was. I'd discarded friends and family who, in my mind, crossed uncrossable lines. The most recent casualties were a couple of my sisters. They resided in the discard pile for nearly a decade. Twice, one of them offered a olive branch. Twice, I scoffed and rejected it. Oh, I knew that not forgiving was wrong. The part of the Our Father that talks about being forgiven as we forgive poked at me. I didn't know how to move out and didn't really have the desire. Sometimes I'd half-heartedly ask for the desire to forgive but it was a weak prayer.
I eventually was booted out the dark land and I'm not sure how. I know it was not my doing. I believe it was through the intercession of my guardian angel and praying the divine mercy chaplet that the incredible Mercy of our Lord Jesus worked a miracle in my heart. I am not using the word miracle lightly nor in a joking manner. I have no other explanation for what happened other than that. I truly believe that it was a miracle.
I finally saw there was a glass. I finally learned how to forgive and how to ask for forgiveness. Well, I'm still learning but I want to forgive and quickly. I learned that there are many sides to a story and I didn't own all the hurt. I've come to recognize that the story I tell myself isn't necessarily a true one; that I color in all kinds of untrue details instead of looking at just what I know.
This post may come across as overly dramatic but it was a dramatic change that Jesus wrought. It was His doing and His Mercy. All the old, ugly feelings and hurts are gone. Gone. Nothing bubbles up or lurks beneath the surface. It is really and truly gone. If that is not miraculous, I don't know what is. I was and am reconciled with my sisters. From as fractured as we were, we've come a long way. We have a long way to go.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee! Please intercede for those who struggle with letting go of ancient history and forgiveness. Grant us peace, through your Son Jesus. Amen
Friday, October 15, 2010
I had a miscarriage last year in January. I was so overjoyed at finally being pregnant after being married nearly nine years. Finally, we were going to have a baby! I was so thrilled I wanted to take out billboards to announce our joyous news. I wanted to tell absolute strangers God had gifted us with a baby. My husband wanted to take a more low key approach and not get our hopes up because we knew right away that our chances of my being able to hold on to our baby were very low because my pregnancy hormones were low. But how could anyone pray for us if they didn't know? I wanted every single prayer I could muster in order to keep our baby and to accept God's will for us.
To our great sorrow, I was unable to hold on to our baby. I don't know if the baby was a boy or girl. Sometimes now it doesn't even seem very real. But, I think about her. I thought about her yesterday as I held my grandson. I thought about her on what would have been her birthday.
I have a ring that I bought in her memory.
I can readily call at least six people to mind who have all suffered one if not more miscarriages or stillbirths. Talking about it opens the door for others to talk about it, too. It is entrance into a 'club' that no one really wants to join but are now a member.
For more information or to read inspiring stories visit I am the Face or Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. I have a friend whose story is there. Her strength is amazing.
Please pray for those who have suffered and are suffering from a loss of a child at any age. O Mary, conceived without sin, you who wanted your Son die a horrible, painful death, help us to trust in the Lord, trust in His Mercy and cling to Him. Amen.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
It is our turn, as his children, to take care of our Dad. He has been, very fortunately, very willing to ask for help and to let us do things for him. He has mentioned more than once how lucky he is to have us. He has us because my parents were open to life. It makes me so sad for the people who have 2.5 children but have no one to visit them, no one to take care of them. I saw it all the time when my grandma was in a nursing home.
Each of us are coming to terms with what that means and the difference in my Dad. Some are in denial that he is as bad as he is. Others think he is worse than he is. Some are letting their own guilt or denial get in the way of doing what is right. Some of that reflects their own past history with my Dad and their relationship to him. But, we are stepping up, in varying amounts, to take care of him.
It has been a great joy to be able to do something for my Dad. While this time is sad, and will get sadder yet, I would not change it. I enjoy every moment I spend with him and every thing I do for him in a different way than before. Our visits have more meaning and are richer because I know that someday he may not know my name. I want to be satisfied that when he dies that I have done everything I could for him. Everything. I do not want any regrets.
Please pray for a happy and peaceful death for my Dad. Please pray for us that we remain strong and united in our care of him. Please let us put him first and ourselves second.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Out of respect for our nation and the people who died; out of patriotism; out of sensitivity for those who lost loved ones, it should be built elsewhere. No one is object to a mosque being built, only to the planned location.
Take a look at this video regarding the ground zero mosque: It brings up some interesting points regarding the likelihood of patriotism before Islam, of country before Islam and the mindset of even moderate muslims.
Now there's a so-called Christian pastor who plans to burn the Koran on 9/11. He seems much more like a cult leader to me. What true Christian would want to do that? What could that possibly accomplish? Why is he doing this now? My advice to this cult pastor? Take your toys and go home. You aren't helping.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us! Pray for the United States! Save us from ourselves. Pray for all sinners. Those who know your Son and those who do not.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
When someone thanks God, I assume they mean the God of Christianity and Judaism. When I read 'I thank god for her' am I to assume that this person worships the god of .. what? Money, fairydust, botox? Because that is what I think.
This minimization of God is happening far too frequently to be chalked up to typographical errors. Isn't it time for us to take a stand and take back our country? For far too long the atheists and others have slowly erased God from our country. They do not have the right to take God's Own Name from Him!
Has anyone else noticed this?
Friday, August 13, 2010
When my daughter was little, she would have to say what and why she was sorry. I think that teaches cause and effect as well as empathy.
So, if we need to apologize to each other more fully, how much more of an apology plus sorrow do we owe God for all the offenses we cause Him?
Here are two acts of contrition that I came across recently. I really like them because they are more complete.
Forgive me my sins, O Lord,
forgive me my sins;
the sins of my youth, the sins of my age,
the sins of my soul, the sins of my body;
my idle sins, my serious voluntary sins,
the sins I know,
the sins I have concealed so long,
and which are now hidden from my memory.
I am truly sorry for every sin,
mortal and venial,
for all the sins of my childhood up to the present hour.
I know my sins have wounded Thy tender Heart,
O my Savior,
let me be freed from the bonds of evil
through the most bitter Passion of my Redeemer.
O my Jesus, forget and forgive what I have been. Amen.
here's a similar one, from the irish:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on me.
O God, forgive me for all the sins of my life;
The sins of my youth and the sins of my age,
The sins of my body and the sins of my soul,
The sins I have confessed and the sins I have forgotten,
The sins against others in thought, word, and deed,
My sins of omission.
O, my God, I am sorry for all my sins, because You are so good;
And I will not sin again with the help of God.
God be merciful to me, a sinner.
Divine Heart of Jesus, convert sinners, save the dying,
Deliver the holy souls in purgatory.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
How is it possible for people to rationalize hating a group of people based on a common trait? How is it possible to believe that ALL people of one type are bad, evil, etc? How is such blind hatred possible? Think about how stupid the following sounds:
~ all people with freckles are sub-human.
~ all people with curly hair are evil
~ all people with big feet are bad
If someone said any of those things, I believe that people would laugh at how ridiculous it is. Because such blanket hatred is absurd and without foundation. There are good and bad people of every shape, size, gender and color. We are all children of God, beloved by God and worthy of respect because we are made in the image and likeness of God - even that sad soul who hung those signs.
Please pray for those who are filled with blind hatred and prejudice. Please pray for those who may have seen the sign and were hurt.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us sinners.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
First he declared that we are not a Christian nation. Now in words he's very slyly changing a basic fundamental right set down by the fathers of our nation. Obama is using 'freedom of worship' rather than 'freedom of religion'. Does it really matter?
Yes. It matters greatly. The United States is a Christian nation. It was founded on the judeo-christian principles and morals. The constitution promises freedom of religion not freedom of worship.
Words matter. Words can clarify or they can conceal. Words can heal or hurt. Words can unite or divide.
Yes, words matter. One might argue that he is not changing the constitution. No, not yet. What he is doing is changing perception. It is an almost subliminal change. A phrase needs only repetition in order to become part of the vernacular. Soon, just like the frog in the pot of water, citizens of the United States won't blink an eye at the phrase "freedom of worship". They won't blink an eye as freedoms are slowly eroded by a corrupt and morally bankrupt president.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Outrageous as this is; it gets worse. First graders would learn that sex could occur between same gender couples. I think I was learning how to count money and tell time in first grade.
The coup de grace in all of this is when they get to learn about the difference places those clinical body parts can go and what can be done with them. Those lucky kids would be in about fourth grade.
What are these people thinking?! Children at such tender ages do not have the ability to handle such information nor can it possibly be healthy. It is the parent's job and right to know and decide when it is the right time to tell Johnny and Susie as much as they can handle and what they believe is morally acceptable.
This is nothing less than brainwashing propaganda.
Here's a novel idea: why not teach kids reading, writing and arithmetic, the good old basics? How about history that hasn't been rewritten to include someone's sexual orientation? Why not give actual grades based on knowledge of concepts? Schools should stick to teaching the basics and leave the rest with the parents.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
In the middle of this article it is crystal clear that the journalist knows that life begins at conception; knows the baby is a person; knows but then disappointingly clings to the "women's right to control over her own biology". No one controls their own body or biology. Every breath we take is given to us by God.
How, how is it possible to know that abortion is murder yet condone it? Truly, I don't understand.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for the conversion of abortionists and those who support or who have had an abortion. Console those who regret their abortions and intercede with your Son for their healing. Amen
Saturday, June 12, 2010
What is Idolatry? According to merriam webster, it is the worship of a physical object as a god. Many people have the misconception that the Catholic Church, with all her statues and whatnot, is full of idolatry.
Catholics do not worship statues, nor do we worship Mary. Worship is for God alone. Catholics often choose saints with whom we can identify or whom we admire. Statues, scapulars, prayer cards remind us of those we love, just like the photo of our relatives and friends. They remind us to pray. They remind us of others who have struggled through life, or acted with great courage and love of Christ and attained sainthood. They point always to Christ. It is through Christ alone they received the graces to act courageously or love greatly. It is their trust in Christ that inspires us.
Catholics worship God alone.
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for those who hate the Catholic Church. Pray for us sinners and those who have recourse to thee.
Friday, June 11, 2010
What is shocking to me is the hatred and ignorance expressed by some of those who commented on the article. One particular person was gleeful at anything that mocked the 'idolatry' of a such 'moneymaking organization'.
What other religion has stood fast for over 2000 years to the same teachings? What other religion teaches the truth regarding abortion, birth control and homosexual activity? People do not like to be told no. People do not like to be told what they are doing is sinful. That is why the Church is hated, as Jesus was hated.
Finally, what other church or organization has done as much for the poor, education and health care? It is the Catholic Church who created orphanages, hospitals and schools.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Really? He couldn't find anywhere else in Wasilla to move? Really? He needs to be right next door? Wasilla currently has approximately 140 apartment vacancies which would be at least half the cost of the $1500 a month rent he's paying to stalk the Palins. This is according to the Wasilla website.
The pouting proser is comparing the "hysterical" facebook post to Nazi tactics. Now people aren't saying nice things about him. Oh gee, that's really just too bad Joe. Maybe because you seem like a stalker? Could that possibly be why?
Palin is a political and therefore, public figure. Her family is not. Her family, her husband, especially her children should be off limits. This is a courtesy to all public figures, not just the ones supported by the media.
This writer has no business moving next door but why hasn't the media or anyone picked up on that simple fact? The hysteria and hatred against Sarah Palin is amazing. One opinionated soul accused Palin of wanting attention and asked why Palin isn't doing something about the oil spill! Excuse me? Shouldn't she be asked why Obama hasn't done anything about the spill?
Monday, May 31, 2010
If a family works in the yard together or washes the car, is that considered work? Or is it the domestic church keeping it holy by being together?
What about laundry? Tossing a load of laundry is hardly the onerous task it once was, even though many people hate doing it. The water no longer needs to be hauled anywhere, heated and the clothes scrubbed by hand.
In contrast, many people 'rest' by watching sports or playing video game; family members spread throughout the house, some on the internet, some texting. Each doing their own thing. Is this keeping it holy?
What do you do? How do you keep it holy? What do you think can be considered 'work' on Sunday?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The cash hungry evil empire, Planned Parenthood, continues its assault women and children by encouraging donations, this time, for Mother's Day. Talk about an oxymoron! Donate to an organization whose pockets are exploding from the deaths of innocent children and their wounded mothers. The audacity of this fundraising scheme is unbelievable. Abortion is the extreme opposite of motherhood. Who could rightly think this is an acceptable gift for any mother?
Whoopi Goldberg, a self-nominee for the Moronic Statement Award, said that giving women more information on the gestational stage of their baby is only making their decision tougher and adding to their burden. She further stated that women who might choose not to have an abortion might just kill their kids later. Huh?
A foster teen was taken without the consent or knowledge of her foster mother across state lines and forced to have an abortion. Why isn't this causing an outrage? Why isn't this considered exploitation of a minor? Why isn't this considered kidnapping and assault? The popular argument for abortion is "my body, my choice". How is it acceptable for these adults to force this teenager into this "choice".
Friday, April 9, 2010
Let the house (and senate) cleaning begin!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The good news is that 70% of Italian doctors refuse to administer the deadly drug. How many women need to die before this is pulled?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Right now it is a particular problem because I do not want to go to Mass. I feel revulsion when it is time to go. I feel sick. I get a stomach ache or an upset stomach. I don't know why I feel this way. I know what the right thing to do is, of course, go to Mass. But I don't. I didn't do a Lenten promise and I have had meat on Friday.
I don't know why I am doing this. I am not angry at God; my beliefs have not changed; I have no real reason for not going. I have been having a lot of spiritual dryness but nothing that should cause me not to go. I know that 'feelings' should be discounted.
I know I need to go to Confession. I also need prayers, please.
Friday, March 12, 2010
"As a result, 18- to 29-year-olds are now roughly tied with seniors as the most likely of all age groups to hold this position on abortion -- although all four groups are fairly close in their views. This is a sharp change from the late 1970s, when seniors were substantially more likely than younger age groups to want abortion to be illegal," Gallup noted.The polling agency also noted that generational differences in support for broadly legal abortion have diminished over the past decade.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Each one of us falls. Each one of us sins. I would never, ever want my smallest sins broadcast much less my darkest ones. Let our sins and our contrition, our healing and our failings be our own concern. As the Lord said, take care of the plank in your own eye before you mind the splinter in your brothers.
Jesus, son of God, have pity on us sinners.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
To be clear, the Catholic Church does not demand or require a married woman to have a baby every year, instead, the married couple merely needs to be open to life. Also, the arguments Sanger uses against the Catholic Church are practically verbatim what cafeteria catholics use: a bunch of old celibates making rules; what do those old men know about married life or sex?
Margaret Sanger was a racist and follower of eugenics. Merriam Webster defines eugenics as a science that deals with the improvement (by control of human mating) of hereditary qualities of a race or breed. Is it any wonder that Planned Parenthood abortion mills are found in the poorest neighborhoods? More african-americans are killed from abortion than aids, accidents, violent crime, heart disease or cancer. On average, nearly 2000 black babies are aborted in the United States. Nearly half of all black pregnancies end tragically in abortion.
Another famous advocate of eugenics was Adolf Hitler. Different targets, different techniques, same goal.
Nothing happened here. A woman bled to death due to butchery but 'nothing happened'.
Where is NOW? Why is there no outcry for this woman and her family? Why is NOW focused on preventing the airing of the Tebow Superbowl ad instead of this woman's death? Shouldn't an organization that claims to be for women be calling for that abortion clinic to be shut down before more women are killed or injured?
Isn't a botched abortion the whole rally cry behind the pro-abortion argument? That no woman should have to die in a back-alley abortion clinic? Pro-aborts wave pictures of wire hangers around with the the declaration of 'Never again!" So, why are they not up in arms about this young woman's death? Death, injury and sterility due to abortion are much, much more common than the evil empire, Planned Parenthood, and other abortion mills would have us know.
Please pray for the soul of Alexandra Nunez and her family.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
We, as a nation, entertain ourselves with the ills of the world. We watch movies about gruesome murderers, rapists, drug dealers and other criminals filled with disasters, explosions and sex. The good guys aren't always so good and they don't always win. We watch movies that mock religion. We listen to music that is filled with violence and disrespect. We read magazines rife with celebrities, their lives on display. Magazines full of gossip and sex tips. We play video games full of violence. We become desensitized to others pain.
The author's comment got me thinking. Do I entertain myself with sin? I would have to say, yes, maybe a little bit. I don't play video games of any sort. I don't really watch too much TV and we rarely go to movies anymore since they are so filthy. I especially won't watch anything that glamorizes infidelity, disrespect for marriage or the gay life style as 'normal'. I read a lot of different types of books: fiction: romance, suspense, mysteries and non-fiction: biographies, poetry and religious books, mostly. The romance books I read are not all heaving bosoms and muscular chests but nearly all have pre-marital sex. The mysteries and suspense are more psychological than gruesome. I don't read People or US or Cosmo. Those deal in gossip and pain. They are full of unhappiness: you'll never be rich enough, sexy enough or just enough.
What about you? Do you entertain yourself with sin?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Please pray for these people around the world:
Those homeless due to an earthquake in Tajikistan
The teenage girl who ran over her teenage brother
Those who want to hurt us
The United States, exporter of abortions world-wide
President Obama, for a multitude of reasons; especially for his conversion to the culture of life.
Grossly misguided cafeteria Catholics