I would be the perfect addict. When a dilemma between what I should do and what I want to do arises, what I want to do wins. Always. Doesn't matter that I know better. Doesn't matter what it is. This is a particular problem when it comes to sin.
Right now it is a particular problem because I do not want to go to Mass. I feel revulsion when it is time to go. I feel sick. I get a stomach ache or an upset stomach. I don't know why I feel this way. I know what the right thing to do is, of course, go to Mass. But I don't. I didn't do a Lenten promise and I have had meat on Friday.
I don't know why I am doing this. I am not angry at God; my beliefs have not changed; I have no real reason for not going. I have been having a lot of spiritual dryness but nothing that should cause me not to go. I know that 'feelings' should be discounted.
I know I need to go to Confession. I also need prayers, please.
Snatching failure from the jaws of mediocrity
3 months ago