Saturday, July 25, 2009

Where is my trust in Him?

I am supposed to attend a baby shower soon. I thought I could do it. But the closer it gets, the more headaches I've had; my stomach is upset; I am angry and moody.

I can't go. I had to take xanax in order to just go into the store to buy the gift and couldn't make it out of there without crying. Of course there were pregnant women and babies everywhere.

I really thought I has accepted God's will regarding my miscarriage. I thought I believed that it is an honor God chose us to help create that soul. If I were trusting and believed, wouldn't I have peace and be able to attend this shower?

I feel really selfish.

2 comments:

entropy said...

Being in pain and mourning isn't a sin.

I'm sure everyone knows that you're happy for your friend but if you don't go they'll probably understand that it's too soon for you to be able to celebrate another birth.

Take it easy on yourself!

Mairin :o) said...

Thank you.