Monday, January 26, 2009

Carrying the Cross

What does it mean to carry the cross? I don't have much experience with this, because my life has been pretty easy. I've had disappointments and difficulties, sure, but never anything serious. I think that during a suffering, we're called to pick up the cross, accept the suffering and submit it to God. Over all, I think we must trust in Christ and His love for us. He knows what is truly best. It is praying, will all sincerity, Thy will be done.

I am going to cry while I carry this cross of having miscarried my baby, at least for a little while. I'm sad but I believe my child is in Heaven, safe in the arms of the Lord, Who created her and to Whom she belongs. Isn't that the desire of any parent - that her child go to Heaven? I have hope that I will one day see her, if I make it to heaven myself. So, I accept, I'm happy and I'm sad, all at once.

Jesus, I trust in You!
This miscarriage makes me think about the sufferings of Our Lady, (and makes mine pale in comparison). She had to watch her Holy and innocent Son being beaten, mocked, spat upon by strangers , and abandoned by His friends. She stood at the foot of the cross watching the nails being driven into His holy hands and feet. All for the sake of our sins, our souls and our salvation. How did she endure it? I could not watch that being done to a stranger, no less my child. How strong is our Lady! Army boots, indeed.

Did you know that hormonally you can have miscarried but may have to wait for your body to catch up? I didn't. I thought it was an all-at-once thing. I hate waiting.

Ok.... and another thing: I think that at my age of 41, almost 42 I should be exempt from getting zits, regardless of the hormones running amok in my system. I never had this many zits at one time in my life when I was a teenager, I think it highly unreasonable I should have them now. That's going to be my miscarriage whining.

1 comment:

swissmiss said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Brought tears to my eyes as I wrote this. Prayers for you and your little one, and may you one day find her happily playing at the feet of Our Lady.

Way off topic here, but I stopped by to give you an award. Stop by my blog to get it.

Also, thank you so much for your very kind offer to chip in money so I could attend the Miles Christi retreat. The coordinator approved my offer of $50/month installments, so it looks like I just need to fill out the paper work and I'm on my way. God bless you for your thoughtfulness!