Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Disconnect

I have a committed adoration hour every week. I have gone upset, angry, sick and every time received comfort when it was needed. I know and believe that it is the Lord before Whom I appear. And yet, and yet lately I feel a disconnect between what I believe and what I feel. Lately, I don't want to go. I feel fidgety, restless and bored. I watch the clock. And I'm appalled by my own thoughts and behavior. If Jesus were sitting there in bodily (human) form, I certainly wouldn't act that way. I'd be prostrate on the floor. It shouldn't be any different when He is there in the form of the Holy Eucharist. So, why the disconnect? Why don't I have the proper awe or fear of the Lord that I should?

I do not want to treat the Lord casually or disrespectfully. Please pray for me.

1 comment:

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Prayers here. You are in the desert of acedia. Keep going before the Lord. Don't give up. Even if you just sit there and fidget-GO!